Trauma can profoundly shape how we see ourselves and interact with others, often in ways we don’t fully recognize or are aware of. At its core, trauma, emotional injuries or things that threaten our well-being disrupt our sense of safety, stability, and identity (or sense of self). When we experience events that overwhelm our ability to cope — such as abuse, neglect, loss, or betrayal—it can leave imprints on how we perceive the world, others, and ourselves. Internally, trauma may lead to feelings of shame, fear, or inadequacy. Over time, this can erode our self-worth, leaving us questioning who we are, what we deserve, and whether we’re capable of meaningful connection.
These struggles inevitably ripple or seep into our relationships. Trauma often makes trust and vulnerability feel risky, leading to defensive behaviors like reactivity, withdrawal, overdependence (we will look at attachment in another section), or heightened sensitivity to perceived rejection or criticism. Unresolved trauma can cause us to misinterpret others’ intentions, assuming threat or judgment where none exists, and it can impair our ability to communicate openly, set healthy boundaries, or engage in conflict constructively. As a result, relationships may feel strained, disconnected, or even unsafe, reinforcing feelings of isolation or unworthiness.
And here's the kicker - trauma doesn’t always show up in obvious ways. It's not just a special reserved 'disorder' for those who have been through obvious horrible events like war. Its effects can manifest as emotional numbness, chronic stress, perfectionism, or even people-pleasing/fawning tendencies, all of which can silently undermine our relationships to ourselves and others. For some, trauma may create patterns of recreating or gravitating toward unhealthy dynamics, repeating cycles of hurt that mirror unresolved wounds.
And while it can create deep challenges, it doesn’t need define our future. Moving forward is possible, and with awareness and support (like through coaching and/or therapy), we can learn to reconnect with our authentic selves and nurture healthier relationships. By acknowledging the impacts of trauma, we can begin the journey toward rebuilding trust, cultivating self-compassion, and fostering connections rooted in mutual respect and understanding.
Probably one of the most comprehensive list of "trauma" symptoms I've ever seen is from anxietycentre.com - in addition to having a LOT of information, this site also has a link to therapists that have each experienced trauma and have recovered (great if you are looking for the therapy route).